Broken Families, Marriages, Relationships, Children, Teenagers, and Parents: Solution Orientated Professional Guidance, Help, and Support

Broken Families, Marriages, Relationships, Children, Teenagers, and Parents Need Help Now

Broken families, unhappy marriages, unhealthy relationships, divorced couples, abused spouse-husband-wife-child, dysfunctional children, troubled teenagers, and struggling-frustrated parents need expert help, professional guidance, leadership skills, coping skills, life coaching, legal advice, solution orientated strategies, literature and resources.  Unfortunately, broken family related problems are all to common with marriages, couples, spouses, children, teenagers, and parents.

Just remember, there is a resolution and solution for every broken family situation and problem. Separating your emotional thoughts from your logical thoughts is the best advice anyone could ever give you. Remember to feel your emotions, but use logic when it comes to making decisions. Just believe, that everything happens for a reason, and how you respond to life’s challenges will determine the amount of happiness you, your significant other, and family receive in return.

At times, life can seem like a merry-go-round. Round and round we go and where we end up nobody knows. Unfortunately, we can’t predict the future, so what we’re left with is living a life with many journeys whose future is not set in stone. I’m a firm believer that we can determine our own fate. Knowledge is power, and having the knowledge to make good decisions in our lives gives us the power of choosing wisely. Not all the roads we travel, in our lifetime, will be paved. Some will be very smooth and others will be downright bumpy.

Broken families, unhappy couples, angry spouses, toxic marriages, hostile children, resentful teenagers, frustrated parents, and dysfunctional relationships don’t start in a defective and deteriorated state.

Dysfunction, unhappiness, frustration, and anger often set in over time, and if broken family problems, feuds, hostilities, abuse, disputes, and critical situations are not dealt with correctly they will likely continue to worsen or deteriorate at an accelerated pace. Searches for expert help, support, literature, documents, legal information, and solution orientated professional strategies, resources, eBooks, and handbooks are often associated with broken family help-counseling, family structure, marriage counseling, marital compatibility, couples therapy, spousal support, dating secrets, parenting guides-leadership, teenage behavior programs, child therapy, conflict resolution, coping skills, codependency, life coaching, creating-maintaining healthy relationships, separation, save-mend-transform-restore marriage strategies, stop-prevent divorce, surviving divorce, divorce strategies-tactics, co-parenting,  child psychology experts, child custody battles, (child custody agreement, mediation, evaluation, and court hearing-preceding process), family law, judicial-legal support,child custody laws, child support laws, child visitation rights, parental and grandparents rights, emancipation, parental alienation syndrome (PAS), Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA).

It’s extremely important to realize that excessive emotional stress can have a dramatic effect on both your mental and physical health in the short and long-term. While impossible to avoid at times, your emotional stress must be kept in check. Learning how to cope is a very important skill set for someone in a stressful situation, environment or broken family. Especially, when the situation or environment is beyond help, out of your control, and you feel like you’re at the end of your rope.

You will benefit greatly by learning how to cope, and take care of your physical and mental well-being by keeping your stress in check no matter the circumstances. Don’t take your mental and physical health for granted, and whatever you do don’t let life’s challenges get the best of you.

Solution orientated thinking will be your most valuable asset in dealing with any personal or broken family problems. This comes easier for some than others. If it doesn’t come naturally, it is a skill set that can easily be acquired regardless of your current predicament. Don’t forget, the first step to solving a problem is recognizing and admitting there is one. You have already conquered step 1, and you are currently on step 2, searching for a solution. Check out this site for expert and professional solution orientated guidance, advice, help, and support to the challenges life is presenting your broken family, marriage, spouse, relationship, teenagers, children, and parents.

25 Responses to “Broken Families Need Help Now”

  1. Trey says:

    Hi. I’m Trey, a teenage guy who has been through a lot with my dad and my younger brother. I’ve been trying recently to fix our devastated family after my dad divorced our abusive stepmother, but my dad still bases our family off of her, and refuses to let go of what she has done. Our entire family has been founded in lies and hiding, and we dread each other’s company. I haven’t seen any opportunity for me and my dad to get along, for he says I’m the problem, and says I will never change. I used to agree that I was, but he gave up on me when I said I would change. Now he hides in his room, and me and my brother are forced to have to pick up the pieces, while he doesn’t do anything. We won’t be celebrating Christmas this year.

    • Tracey says:

      Hi Trey, I know exactly what you are going through, in my case my father was the person abusing us, beating up my mom and destroying my room. They have since gotten divorced, but still bad mouth each other. My brother that is younger than me gets all the attention, and I am left out in the cold to deal with things on my own. Now after many years they still hold on to the passed and live in the past. My dad got very sick and is unable to work and I am the person now looking after him, same with my mom every time she needs something I will be the one helping not my brother. I cannot fix them, they will have to get out of all that, and just decide to start living their lives or what is left of their lives. The same for myself, I have decided to just let go because I am not their parent and I cannot be their parent.

  2. Margaret says:

    I am a grandmother of a three year old who was taken away from her mother (my daughter) by CYFD. My daughter got involved with the wrong person at a young age. He introduced her to prescribed drug use and during this time she became pregnant. During this time, she realized that she needed to fix her life for the sake of this baby, but the boyfriend didn’t want to fix his life. She tried to make it work and started working, got a place to live, but was it was hard because she could not rely on him to take care of the baby. He also would not work to try and help. I would try to help take care of the child but that meant me bringing the baby home with me because I lived 40 miles from them. One night they had a domestic dispute, the police were called and my daughter was arrested because they found her holding a stick, and the boyfriend claimed that she was hitting him with it. He also claimed that she was hitting him while he was holding the baby, but later on the report says that he put the baby down when she started hitting him. My daughter cannot remember what happened that night. I think she was drugged. At this time my daughter decided to leave the boyfriend and come back home. When we got her out of jail she was black and blue. Her bruises were consistent to someone who had been restrained. I suspect she might have been raped, but the boyfriend would like for people to believe that she had been beaten up in jail. In the apartment where this took place the door was broken right where the deadbolt sits. That tells me that someone locked themselves inside probably out of fear. Boyfriend again, would like for everyone to believe that she broke in the door. My daughter is petite in size and there is no way that she could have done that.
    That was beginning of the (Children, Youth and Families Department (CYFD)) involvement with my daughter and granddaughter. They were involved with several situations each time the baby was hurt and every-time my daughter would be the one who would take the baby for medical attention. We would notice the injuries a day or two after we would pick up the baby from the father. The last incident was a broken arm which was an accident, but it was treated like an abuse incident by CYFD which at that time the baby was put in their custody and after a month they gave the baby to the father, and he would only allow my daughter to see her for two hours a week at CYFD. After the court hearing CYFD decided to pull out and let the parents fight for custody of the child. My daughter was only allowed to see her daughter every other weekend with supervision. She was to pay for the supervisor which took a toll on her financially, and the supervisor stated that she did not see a threat to the child under her mothers care, but the other party insisted that mother should be supervised. Well a year later my daughter has not seen her daughter. My daughter recently had another baby and has totally turned her life around. The case has gone to mediation, and with the advice of my daughters lawyer, my daughter did not agree with any of the mediators suggestions. They had a hearing where they have given her joint custody of her daughter, but the case is now again in mediation because they want to gradually reintroduce the baby back to her mama(this was decided in November, but mediation is still sitting on it). My husband and I have filed for grandparent visitation, but the boyfriend’s lawyer produced some roadblocks which we have not responded to. Now we have a letter stating that time has lapsed, and we have to wait 180 days to reinstate the motion. What can we do? Do our grandparents rights give us a chance of seeing our granddaughter?

  3. Delia Broussard says:

    I am not able to see my 7 yr old granddaughter. I’ve always been a part of her life until recently. I found out her mom & live in boyfriend use crystal meth & have been arrested in Texas for drugs this past summer. I visited their home in Sept 2014, it was filthy. I took pictures & reported it to Child Protection Services. Found out oldest child, 11 yrs old was raped in home in Sept 2014 by her uncle who is 15 or 16 years old. My granddaughter has missed probably almost 30 days of school this year. Now the mom has cut all commutation with me. My granddaughter had an explained black eye. Mom said NOT one. I have pictures of eye, filthy house, arrest records, and the Child’s school record. Child Protection & police refuse to do their jobs. I need to know about grand parent rights in Louisiana. They live in Baton Rouge & I live in Lafayette. Any help would be appreciated.

  4. Valerie Maes says:

    I am the Grandmother of 2 boys, 2 & 6, who live in South Bend, Indiana and were taken away from my daughter about 7 months ago by their other Grandmother. My daughter got involved with the wrong guy who is the father of the boys about 7 years ago. He has always been abusive to my daughter and every time she would leave him the abuse continued mentally(calls, texts, and internet) and she would always go back to him. My Daughter is a great Mom…and her boys were always well taken care of except having to witness the abuse. About a year ago he beat her up again and was arrested. Again, she left and moved here to Las Vegas, Nevada with me. But after all the hundreds of phone calls, texts and emails from her husband he finally convinced her to go back to him (South Bend, Indiana). It wasn’t long before the abuse started again and the husbands parents filed for custody on the grounds of abuse because they were witnessing their father beating up their mother. But what I don’t understand is every time their son went to jail they would turn against my daughter and become mentally abusive to her. My Daughter started experiencing anxiety and depression and only got worse over the past few months. I can’t express the heartache I felt every time she went back to the abusive relationship. She was prescribed these pills called Kaladapin and became this zombie and then she tried hanging herself and almost succeeded. And again was prescribed Kaladapins and again tried killing herself. After a couple of days in the hospital she returned home. A couple of days later her home was raided by swat/DEA because her husband has been selling drugs (even though they found nothing) the fact remains that he is a drug dealer. My Daughter decided to admit herself into a hospital because she could not handle the withdrawals from the Kaladapins and all of the stress in her life. She got out of the hospital, realized she deserves better and the abuse will never stop so she decided she has to get away from him even if it means leaving her boys for now. Well 2 days ago her husband received death threats from a drug dealer/gang leader who thinks her husband put him in jail. He was told to keep his family safe because they were going to get him back. I thank God that my Daughter made the decision to move here with me but now my Grandsons are still there in South Bend, Indiana with her husbands Mom and Dad who have also been threatened. How do I go about getting custody of my Grandsons if I live in Las Vegas, Nevada and they are in South Bend, Indiana? I don’t know where to start but I will do whatever it takes to make sure my Grandsons are safe and happy. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions. Thank you so much! Val

  5. Jazzy says:

    I have been separated from the mother of my child for about 3 years now. My son(age 5) lives with her, but I get to have him every other weekend. Lately when I drop him off, he has been crying and saying he wants to live with me. I know he wants his mom and I to be together as a family. I have moved on, and have been in a two year relationship with my new girlfriend who also has a child. How do I explain to my son, what is happening?

  6. Tracey says:

    Your son is only 5. There is no way that he is going to understand what is happening now, but if you are patient with him and just tell him: “Mommy and Daddy are no longer together but we both love you so much”. That will make him feel better as well. 5 is a very young age to try and work out why mommy and daddy are not living together anymore. Just make sure he knows that you love him, and that he is not getting punished by staying with his mom. Also let him know that you trust his mom so much that you want him to stay with her now.

  7. R. Kennedy says:

    My seven-year old grandson had a troubled first couple of years of his life. His mother was a drug user, who is recovering and has been clean for several years. The biological father is still using, and is a very vocal atheist/satanist (by his admission). My grandson’s mom has married a dedicated man who believes the biological father should be in my grandson’s life, as he and the rest of the family are strong Christians.

    My grandson has turned into a tyrant after almost two years of regular visits with what I call his “dead-beat” Dad. He pays very very little in the way of financial support, not with child-support, schooling, clothes, etc. The stepfather pays for everything and has only gotten angry about this once during the years of the marriage. My grandson is a bully to his 2 year old sister. He demands his every want and needs to be met immediately, or he screams, kicks, and physically attacks his sister, mom, and stepdad. I am concerned beyond words, and after having worked within the South Bend school system myself, I have not seen any improvement in his grades or sociability. I am not terribly surprised, as I said, having worked for the system. My grandson has had one terrific special ed teacher in K and 1st grades, but that will end. Even so, I was surprised when he was passed on to the second grade after his final 1st grade report card.

    Please advise where there may be Montessori or good private schools in South
    Bend/Mishawaka. Thank you so very, very much.

  8. Joni says:

    Hi. My husband has a 6 year old daughter who was taken from her mother 3 years ago. The courts gave him full custody. The court gave her weekend supervised visitation, holidays, and school vacations. The mother has not spent a full night with the child in over 2 years. She blows in and out of her life. It truly takes a toll on the child. She goes months without seeing her, and only calls every once in a while. The mother has since had another baby. The mother is suppose to pay child support, which we hardly ever see. My question is, could we ask the courts to make the mother sign her rights over? We also suspect she’s back on drugs( that’s the reason the child was taken from her).

  9. Debbie McCoy says:

    I want to start this comment by asking for some help, I have been trying for a year to get a lawyer to help me get time with my grand daughter. Her mother has in been in Prison for child neglect, my son has full custody, but he has since gotten in trouble and spent some time in jail on drug charges. It has been a mess, the mother had no custody and had filed on 2 or 3 separate occasion for some kind of custody, of which she was refused. On New Years morning last year, she pulled a fast one and went to my sons home and beat the crap out of him, bit him in the back, and took my Grand Daughter. She got Temporary custody for 180 days, the judge sided with her, but we had proof on our side. We had filed a 3rd party to intervene, but it was over looked. We have not seen our Grand daughter for a year! Please help us! We raised her the first 6 years of her life, and now she is still with her mother. We are unable to get her back, and no lawyer wants to help us!

  10. Christine K says:

    My older brothers were sent to my Dad’s sister to be raised in 1950. I was left with my mom, and we went to live with my grandmother and great-grandmother. I got to see my brothers a few times when we were growing up, but they moved across country just before they became adolescents. My Mom ‘married’ a few times, but I stayed with my grandmother until I was ll.
    I was living with 3 step brothers and a step sister. The ‘family’ life was nothing at all like I expected, with yelling and hitting and endless teasing and torturing each other (the kids) and I couldn’t wait to get out of there.
    Pregnant at 17 and married, but two children by the time I was 20, and severe postpartum depression after the first one. I was in no way ready for any of that.
    I became abusive to my oldest as he was colicky, and I couldn’t stand the constant crying. I had little to no help, and by the time my second was born, I knew my husband was fooling around.
    When we separated, I had to rely on ‘welfare’, which at the time was a pittance believe me. After a series of events too complex to describe, I was forced to take the boys to their dad. I thought it would be temporary, but it wasn’t because of legal demands. I was cut out of their lives until they were 12 and 10. At that time my life was stable, and so was I.
    My brothers know nothing about me really. My Dad once told me, “I have another family now.” And I discovered he was dead two years after the fact.
    Whenever people talk or post on Facebook about family, I cringe. I have nothing to add and it just brings it all back. I have only told two psych people about the abuse and each time they drop me like a hot rock. I have nowhere to turn to grow.

  11. Sandra says:

    I also have a four year old grandson which I have raised almost his entire life. 2/2/16 I had sheriff and child protection services called to my home after I had already filed abuse report on the father, and neglect on the mother. This is the only home he knows after 5 child services told my daughter to take him to the father which now has custody for 6 months because my daughter signed him over after leaving him home with him. She left him with two different people before heading back to Baton Rouge where the next day I had to give the father her address to get him because she is allegedly living with drug dealers. I spoke with him two different times today, both times he asked me to come get him so he could live with me and to have to tell him I couldn’t until his dad said I could. This tore my heart out to hear the emotional damage in his voice because I have always been the one there when he was sick afraid etc and he can’t understand why I’m not going to come bring him home. This is a nightmare you try to do the right thing and go by the law only to have him not just go through the physical abuse, but now emotional and after they took him I received a letter from child protection services. If I had not called law and refused to turn him over til they got child services here they wouldn’t have investigated cause their letter said lack of evidence and worker never even talked to me. They just said I had no right to keep him, and let his mother leave with him. I’m researching to try to find a way to get him back where he feels safe but Louisiana laws don’t make it easy even for people like me who have lived here all my life.

  12. sarah says:

    I have been divorced since May of 2015. My divorce decree and parenting plan says that I have 50/50 timeshare for my son with my ex husband with room for modification as long as both parties agree. My ex chose to modify the Custody plan by choosing to have our son every other weekend rather than every other week in August of 2015. Last month my ex wanted to go back to having my son every other week and stick to what is written in the parenting plan as long as he agrees to communicate and work with me to make decisions and co-parent our son. My ex has remarried and the new wife is very jealous and has made attempts to try to forbid him to communicate to me. She has tried to interfere in the parenting plan. My ex now refuses and ignores any communication by email and by texts. I find it challenging to co-parent and make decisions for my son when my ex will not respond to my emails. Our parenting and divorce decree states that we need to communicate and work together to make decisions for my son. What can I do to enforce the communication aspect for my ex and making parenting decisions in regards to the divorce decree and parenting plan? Since my son has stayed with my ex every other week his GPA has gone down 10 points. He became sick from food poisoning and my ex did not inform me. Should I attempt to continue a communication to my ex before certified mail? Any advice on my situation would be greatly appreciated.

  13. Delores says:

    I see from this site that D.C. has progressive laws when it comes to child custody. That may be true, but we discovered in our D.C. custody case that the court did not follow any of the principles or laws governing the child’s best interests. There were some pretty violent family lawyers involved and seemingly clueless inexperienced judges. Even though neither of us, my husband or I, have any criminal record, or record of abuse, drugs, or neglect, one judge entered a tactical protection order. This was done secretly, without my knowing, order that my husband’s lawyer drafted and talked him into
    signing. It contains vague allegations based on a vague misdemeanor statute. The tactical filing took away all my rights to parent, while another judge vigorously opposed mediation, even though both parents sought mediation, forced us through four years of litigation and threatened the health, safety
    and finances of our entire family. Seeing he was winning, my husband just went along due to insecurity. How can these judges be so uneducated about what is best for kids, so cruel to us and to our children? I am told that the judge probably did this to benefit the lawyers involved since we owned a big house, or simply had no proper training. The judges fought tooth and nail to prevent mediation in our case, and sent the conflict through the roof by treating us parents massively unequally. Is there something I can do to help protect other D.C. children and their parents from some of the monsters in the family court who seem to follow neither the procedures nor the laws designed to protect children from this cruel and inhumane process?

  14. Lara says:

    Hi, from the start I already have a broken family because since I was born I grew up without my mom, just me my dad and my grandma, also with my uncles and aunties. Seriously talking I don’t realize I don’t have a mom until I started high school. Me and my dad were very close, but all of a sudden he got married without asking me without even introducing the girl he is going to marry, and its painful. No words can explain the pain, its hard. Until now I feel less, I feel a lot of things are not meant to be. Its been 6 yrs, but it always feels like yesterday. I feel neglected and alone. I hate my dad. I hate him for not fighting for me. I hate how he does not care of whats happening. I hate him for leaving me. He knew it, that from the start I already broke, but then again he broke me again that makes it more painful for me.

  15. Arfan Gunawan says:

    Firstly this is my friend’s life, I’ve been friends with him since junior high, and until about the first year in high school. He started to open up on how broken his family is. Each time we talk either through social media, or face-to-face, he always tells me about how his Father is often insulting him for no apparent reason. His younger brother is always being favored, his parents are always arguing, and to top it all, the only one who cared before (his mother) is starting to use him as a tool to over come her own grief and frustration (shouting at him for his past mistakes that is not really a big deal in the first place). This also affects him at school, always thinking that everyone is his enemy (we go to a different school once we graduated junior high), and I can’t stand him slowly loosing his sanity. I can’t watch him like this because I’m his only friend, so how do you think I can help him?

  16. Tracey says:

    I know what you are going through, it isn’t easy. Is your friend still living at home? Best would be to get him out of that house. I left home at 17 because of things being really bad at home. Best thing I ever did.

  17. Tracey says:

    I think he might feel just as bad about what he has done. I don’t have a good relationship with my dad, but I just started talking to him no matter how he hurt me. I know that it is hard, but you will feel so much better by just closing that gap. Forgive and just remind yourself he is only human and he makes mistakes.

  18. Christa J says:

    I am a mother of three and expecting another. My oldest two boys were from my previous marriage. We parted ways three years ago, and within six months he had remarried. I myself had started a relationship with another man, and he brought some troubles with him that resulted in my loosing my home, my job, and rights of custody to my two little men. I’ve struggled for these last three years to continue a close relationship with my boys, but everyone and everything has tried to prevent our union. I’ve pleaded with their father on multiple occasions to allow me to be a constant presence in their lives, but he refuses me and his wife I fear had a dirty hand in convincing him to push me out. They have sought full custody, and with me being beyond low income requested that I pay child support. All I want is to be in their lives to teach them, grow with them, and give them my love. If I were capable of paying any number of fees just to insure I have that right I would. I have not asked much, just an understanding of my difficult situation. Yet my genuine requests are left unheard, and the emotional damage my boys have undergone that only I can heal is left to fester in their little hearts the longer we are forced to be apart. I’m at a loss as to what I can do to once again gain the right to be in their lives. Please, I am in dire need of assistance, help, and advice. I need them as much as they need me!

  19. Jeff says:

    Hello, I’m a father of 2, a 13 year old boy and 9 year old girl. I have remarried and been searching for help with no luck. My wife, the kids step mom, has gone above and beyond to make sure that the kids are cared for. My daughter has emotional problems, and are dealing with the courts trying to get them to come live with my wife and I. Trying to get the courts to find my ex-wife to be unfit as a mother. My daughter continues to fight and defies everything thing we ask (ex. Brush hair and teeth, bath regular, go to school and participate). She cuts her uniforms for school, intentionally pees her bed and clothes, and screams and disrespect everyone in the house while demanding she move back with her mom. We feel trapped in our home, and know one wants to help us as we have asked. We have in home psychologist and social worker and all they say is to ignore her or don’t say no to her. How can we live like this without our house or sanity being destroyed? Child Protective Services has been out and says were doing good, but no one has any idea what we go through. All we want is to help her! Letting her do whatever she wants, and ignoring the problem is not being a parent. Our family is being tore apart as my wife is distancing from it all because she is constantly reminded that she can’t spank or discipline.

  20. Mathew says:

    My parents and my sister have problems, and this time, they got into a really bad fight. My sister is getting disowned, and I’m really confused on what to do. Is there ANY way I can make this better?

  21. Terri Craig says:

    When my granddaughter was conceived mom and dad lived in my home, and they remained in my home after the birth. At two months of age mom went to party and see friends in Alaska without the baby (she now likes to claim that I pushed her into that visit. The truth is I said do what you need to do but leave the baby here, I said this because of arguments that I had heard between her and the dad). I stepped up while she was gone and dad was working long shifts at work to take care of the baby and this continued after mom returned from the trip. We had moved the baby into my room because it was easier on the child because dad was always up late and could be loud while baby was sleeping. When mom came back we tried baby in their room again and in a room by herself. I would lay in bed while baby was crying and listen to them argue about who’s turn it was to get up. The baby for the most part has been in my room since she was two months old because mom and dad up at all hours in shared room and loud. They also would get into fights where there was things thrown. So I stepped up again and said it was at that time a good idea to put the baby anywhere but their room because it wasn’t healthy. After a few months back from her Alaska trip mom decided that she wanted to move out with a friend from work that she has only known for a few months. Mom at the time of packing had no plans to take the baby with her. The apartment was horrible, this other lady had four kids but didn’t have custody of them, there was no furniture and the apartment was always a mess. When mom moved out and wasn’t coming by to see her daughter I told my son, the dad, that he needed to file for custody and establish parenting time (I had been telling them that this needed to be done since the child was born to protect both of them and the child). Temporary custody agreement was that the child remained in my house with her father and that mom was to visit 3 times a week and no overnights at her moms. (Later my son tried to tell me that they decided it to be that way because of who mom was living with at that time and the apt. None of that is true because without being called a spoken to by her mother or the baby’s father she didn’t come to see the child). When she did come she would do laundry, hang out with the dad, and/or sleep. And she was usually mad because she was spending her day off visiting her daughter and not swimming. I have been the child’s (mock parent) caregiver since before her mom moved out. Sick child I had her, up late child I had her, doctor appointment needing to be made I did it and attended it. I still do all of this going on more than 4 years now. The dad started having seizures, and I was there trying to take care of him as well as the child. Not once did mom step up to take care of her own child while this was going on. Not long after the baby turned one and before the family moved to Missouri mom moved back in and the court kept the temporary order as the custody agreement (joint custody with decisions about medical and school being shared, no child support paid, and if not living together no overnights with mom and child again lives in my home with her father. And I am still doing all parenting.) We move to Missouri and once again mom met someone she has only knows a few months who has a child and wants to move out with her. Thinking with this other young lady having a child will make her child’s visits easier. It took a long time for the child to want to leave with her mom alone and I could never and still can never drop her off since she begs me not to leave her there. I think she loves her parents, but home is me and where I am for her because I am the only person she knows has and will take care of her because that has been how it always has been. The only way she will go is if she is bribed, it’s sad. The whole year she was living with this girl she was either too busy to visit, was visiting here at my home (although that was more like 10 minutes with child and the rest of the time her in room with dad). At the end of that year she pushed and pushed for dad to move in with her so the baby could be there all the time, so they moved in an apartment just down the road. I continue to still do all school and doctor stuff. I also still have the child more than they do. There is always something mom wants to do or has to do before she can tend to child. And dad well all the signs are there of him being great at being a dad, but he constantly is putting mom ahead of the child. No matter what. And although I was a mom to my children they had very close relationship with their grandparents. And seems to be what he wants for his daughter too. So if they were going to have a night out I would have the child. But I still have her more than not, sometimes days at a time. Well mom and dad have a toxic relationship and always have had mom it a hitter and throws things and dad restrains as well as at times throw things as well. They both have faults in the relationship. Mom has made some new friends and going out three and four nights a week drinking, driving home drunk ( she doesn’t see that it is a problem even went as far as telling the dad that he was being dumb and immature because he had a problem with that) and has now decided after their latest fight that she is done and wants to move out with her new best friend. Up until mom started this new (repeat) partying she and the dad agreed that no drinking around the child. But her views have changed now. And thinks that is no a big deal to drink around the child. In August she took the child to NY to see her family. The mom herself told me that the child asked to go to nana’s house multiple days everyday that they were gone. And glued to me when they got back. As a mom I feel bad because her child doesn’t want to go to her or dad. But people we all know tell me that they did this to themselves. My house may be small at the moment but it is stable and she is at home here and wants to be here. I want to add that the child has a hearing loss and possible signs of slight autism. Mom and dad at a number of visits with school staff and medical staff have been told they believe the child needs to be tested for autism. I waited for them to do what they were suppose to do after months I called the doctor myself, when they called mom to set up the appointment she had me call and do it. I don’t know what to do. Do I file for custody until they get help with things like anger management and other things that they may need like parenting classes? I am extremely concerned for her well-being. I need some advice.

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